Back in 2010, I joined a networking organization for professional speakers and authors. I had recently decided to follow a similar career path, and I hoped to learn from these more experienced thought leaders on how to launch my career.
A few months after joining the group, I went to lunch with four professional speakers, all of whom were much more experienced than I was. During our meal, I shared my dream of landing a book deal with a traditional publisher, rather than self-publishing.
Immediately, the four other people at the table shared how they had been unable to land book contracts. They used their struggles as evidence that it was unrealistic for someone less experienced (me) to land a deal either.
On the surface, their beliefs probably seemed more reasonable than my dream. At that point, I had never written anything longer than ten pages and had never given a paid speech. I also had zero email subscribers and social media followers.
Let me interrupt this story briefly to emphasize one point, though. I was at lunch with a group of motivational speakers. They are supposed to inspire others for a living, and they were shooting down my dream! Isn’t that ironic?
Back to the story… So, as these men and women shared their un-motivational opinions with me, I just smiled and nodded.
There was nothing to be gained from trying to persuade them to believe my dream was attainable. They weren’t literary agents, and they didn’t work for publishing companies, so they wouldn’t have any say on whether my dream would come true.
After lunch, I thanked them for their advice. I then continued on my path to make my dream a reality.
A few months later, I grabbed coffee with another member of this networking group. She had landed several book contracts with traditional publishers. She recognized my passion and potential. She thought I had a unique story and message. As a result, she offered to introduce me to her literary agent.
Less than one year later, AMACOM (now part of HarperCollins, the world’s second largest consumer book publisher) offered me a contract to write my first book, I Got My Dream Job and So Can You.
Whenever you try to do something big, people will doubt you. To say that another way, if no one is doubting you, that’s usually a sign that you are thinking too small.
There are three main reasons why people will doubt you:
1. Some people will not believe they could achieve your dream.
The professional speakers who joined me for lunch that day in 2010 had failed to land their own book deals. They thought their experience was evidence that I would not succeed either, but they were wrong.
Never allow someone else’s pessimism to dictate whether you believe your dreams are possible. Many people (even some motivational speakers) have allowed life to beat them down. That’s their issue, not yours.
2. Some people will worry you will be disappointed.
Sometimes, the people closest to us try to temper our enthusiasm. They do this to try to “protect” us. They aren’t confident that our dream is achievable, and they don’t want us to get our hopes up only to be disappointed.
Never let someone else reign in your enthusiasm, though.
Isn’t it better to aim high and come up short than to aim low and wonder what might have happened with more ambition and effort?
The only real failure in life is not trying. Your batting average doesn’t matter, so why not swing often and swing for the fences?
3. Some people do not want you to succeed.
Unfortunately, some people do not have your best interests in mind. Some people don’t want you to succeed because they think they will be less impressive if you reach a higher level of success.
They want you to stay where you are because they want to stay where they are. They don’t want to invest the time and effort you are prepared to invest.
They also have a false belief that there is a finite supply of success available to the world. If you become more successful, they think it will somehow make them less successful.
The truth is that there is an infinite supply of success available to anyone willing to put in the necessary effort. Never let someone else’s limited ambition hold you back from trying to take yourself to a higher level.
In summary, someone else’s beliefs mean nothing until you interpret them. If someone doubts you can succeed, you have two choices.
The weaker choice is to think, “They are right. I should stop thinking so big.”
The stronger choice is to think, “They have no idea what I’m capable of. I’m going to put in the work and prove them wrong.”
Think back to the most significant achievements of your life so far. Were there doubters along the way? I bet there were.
Doubters can be a blessing, though. Our greatest achievements often occur because people doubt us, not in spite of people doubting us.
Doubters can provide additional motivation and unleash your competitive juices. When someone doubts you can succeed, they are doing you a favor.
Prove them wrong.
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About the Author
Pete Leibman is a speaker and author who helps consultants, lawyers, and advisors build the energy, focus, and resilience to sustain high performance. He delivers keynotes, workshops, and webinars for leading consulting firms, law firms, and financial services firms. Pete is the author of three books and more than 300 articles on high performance. His latest book is Stronger Advisor: High-Performance Habits for Consultants, Lawyers, and Advisors.
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